Dances are a BIG Deal
By: Damon Simkins, Chelsi Slack, Briana Frei, Casey Vest
Dances are a BIG Deal
Santa Clara City Hall – Senior Ball 2019
High school is a chicken pot pie, full of different personalities; and it’s a sad truth that these differences often end up serving as segregating walls that confine students to various ‘social circles.’ This occurs constantly, and is usually unrecognized, until it becomes very difficult to break these barriers of unspoken social expectation and do anything just because it would make someone’s day.
Now, you’re probably checking the title of this article wondering what all this has anything to do with school dances. The point is, regardless of what social circles students are a part of, anyone and everyone enjoys being noticed and asked out. Unfortunately, too often these cliques keep us from helping others to experience this great feeling of value. In fact, a student surveyed for this article expressed that he knows a good friend from work who really struggled with this very issue. He explained that she had a few good friends, and she never really struggled with school work, but all the same – she hated high school.
This former snow canyon high student said “I felt I was forced to the bottom of the totem pole and unappreciated, without ever being given a chance to become known for who I am. I was never asked out to any dances or on any dates, and to this day have gone out only once, and I am now twenty-one,” she laments. “This led me to really feel like there was something wrong with me” she added. Fortunately, this kind of thing is the exception and doesn’t happen to the majority of students, but similar things happen more than you might think, and it is a big deal.
Some SCHS students (and one teacher) provided input on what they think about school dances. All provided the information anonymously. Below is what they had to say about why the dances are such a big deal.
“I don’t believe in mosh pits, it is just a ton of sweaty people jumping up and down pushing one another. I’m also not a fan of girls choice because I’ve never been asked to one.”
“I like dances, I don’t think they’re fair though, not a lot of people get asked and it sucks.”
“Love school dances! They are so fun and we like mosh pits!”
“I think school dances are fun, but it feels bad when you don’t get asked. But besides that, they are fun, except the girls ask guys ones, those suck.”
An SCHS teacher opposed some of these sentiments,
“No mosh pits! They are awful and dangerous. No day dates! Just do a dinner date, it is cheaper and less stressful. Formal dances! Learn how to waltz and swing etc. There are too many dances! Just do two: Prom and Homecoming.”
“There shouldn’t be as many formal, maybe 2 or 3. Do an occasional slow song. They shouldn’t be as expensive. If someone isn’t asked to the dance and they come stag, they should be asked to dance.”
“I think school dances are okay. It’d be nice to be asked but it’s alright if I’m not. Just go have fun in the most inexpensive way.”
School dances are a time to look forward to, a time when kids can forget for a whole day about different worries and problems they have to deal with, and just have fun; usually a day date, pictures, and finally dancing the night away with friends – maybe even that special someone.
The truth is, your date to a dance doesn’t have to be someone you’re in love with. Instead, take the pressure off and go with somebody fun whose company you enjoy. Treat your date how you’d like to be treated and make a memory together.
In this day and age, it is acceptable, and even encouraged, for young women to ask guys out to more than just girls’ choice dances. However, guys can’t just leave it to the girls to do all the asking. We all get it; it can be nerve-wracking to ask someone out. And it is definitely easier to do nothing. Often, we lie to ourselves and say we’re “not really feeling it.” But, in reality, that’s just a defense mechanism against rejection.
Instead of hiding behind our defenses, if everyone made a conscious effort to ask somebody to a dance – not just ask the person at the top of their list either – but with everyone in mind, then that amazing feeling of value and appreciation will be spread through the entire school and community.
Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story, and it doesn’t take much. All we have to do, every now and then, is to spread our wings and take a chance on somebody new. Ask the kids who deserve to be asked, not just those we want to ask. The truth is if you really want to have a good time, giving such an experience to someone else is the best of times.