A note from the editor:
Romance Revelations is designed to be a running column where various, anonymous staff members break down the intricacies, difficulties, and challenges of romantic relationships in high school.
The genesis of the column came from a day when students were gossiping during some down time – thinking the teacher couldn’t hear them (I did – we always hear the “tea”). I suggested the students put their frustrations, advice, and stories into a column for the newspaper. This excited them, and they were off.
Now, our intent is solely to help people relate to the struggles of an everyday high school student.
This column will change and adapt with each publication as different topics are discussed, and different people contribute. All questions and answers are dealing in the hypothetical – in other words, if anything you read seems familiar or upsets you, it’s purely by accident. Don’t take it personally.
I hope you enjoy it!
– Mr. Rarick
The theme for this edition of Romance Revelations concerns the lack of romance. Thriving in solitude can be a tricky thing to master but is an important part of life. These questions and answers will not provide the answers to all of life’s problems, but they will provide some potentially valuable insights to issues everyone struggles with. Put these tips into your advice bank for future bumps in the relationship road.
How can I be okay being alone? (not in a relationship)
Being comfortable being alone really starts by being comfortable with who you are. Self-confidence is key to enjoying time by yourself. If low self-esteem is something you struggle with, don’t worry. Start by finding things you like to do on your own. For example: reading, sitting outside, drawing/painting, listening to music, driving, walking, getting outside, dancing in your kitchen, and literally anything else. Doing this will increase your self-appreciation and substitute your need to have another person constantly involved in your life.
Additionally, the absence of a romantic relationship does not automatically mean loneliness. Make friends, spend time with your family. We figure out our own tastes by forming a wide range of relationships with a wide range of people. Find a group to hike with, go to the school dances with a friend, participate in church youth groups – sometimes we get so focused on what we don’t have that we lose sight of what we do have. Don’t focus on the lack of a romantic relationship, instead focus on building tons of positive relationships in your life.
How can I overcome rejection?
If you have had the courage to put yourself out there, you’re already way cooler than 75% of high schoolers (statistics are approximate). Most students are too afraid of rejection to even go for the person they like; feel proud of yourself for just sending it. View the rejection as practice for when you find that person who feels the same way about you as you do about them.
In order to be okay with being rejected, I emphasize again, be comfortable with yourself. Know that if someone doesn’t want you, they’re not worth your time anyway. You deserve better than that. In fact, through rejection you probably are better. If you like somebody and never go for it, you’ll always wonder – and that may stop you from pursuing somebody else. But, if you go for it and are rejected, now you know to pursue a new path instead of wasting time.
Now, at the same time, rejection stings so feel free to cry it out for a minute. You can be sad. But don’t let that sadness linger too long, you need to remember that you’re a #swagmaster and just have fun living your life regardless of who you date.
Not being in a relationship is totally fine! Especially as a high school student. Just because you aren’t in a romantic relationship now doesn’t mean it will be this way forever. Take advantage of this time and really get to know yourself – that’s what most of us are doing anyway… figuring out who we are. It’s important to know who you are and what you love doing. The right person will come in time, and you will likely be a person that somebody else is waiting for, and when that time comes you will both recognize each other’s greatness.